In Loving Memory
"Hamish (left)" and "Patch"
I waited so long to get you - after the loss of my
dog "Patch" who was run
over by a car, it took me ten years before I could
own another. I wanted a
Springer and when I saw you in the pet shop, what
can I say - you chose me
and I had to buy you. You were so spoiled by us all,
perhaps that was part
of your problem. "King Hamish", such a bossy dog
your therapist told us when
you first started to be aggressive and we searched
for help. We had you
desexed, injected you with hormones, got you a
companion (little "Jock"),
muzzled you and put us all through behaviour modification. Our lives and
yours turned up side down. All because we loved you so and couldn't bare to
let you go.
Some said it was a doggie mental defect,
the way you would be
all cuddles and love and then teeth and rage
(a dark side - so unlike you).
Others said it could be a tumour, still others just
dominance. So many times
I'd beg you to stop, how many tears I shed worrying
over what were we to do
- if only I could get inside your head and tell you
how dangerous you were
and what may happen if you kept it up. We all wanted
so badly for the old
"Hamish" to prevail - that energetic, destructive,
cheeky but lovable dog we
adored. You became so unpredictable, we had to muzzle you! Then that awful
night of 13th September 1997, when you went for me,
no reason, I just walked
past. The savage glint in your eyes was fiercer than
I had ever seen and I
couldn't get near you with the muzzle. My heart sank
and I knew at that very
moment there were no more "just one more chances" -
our struggle for over
nine months was getting us nowhere, you were worse
than ever, and I just
couldn't take the chance with the children. I would
never forgive myself if
I let you hurt someone - I'm so sorry it had to be
this way, and believe me
if there was any other way I could have helped you
I would have, but all the
experts had run out of advice.
As I took you to visit your favourite vet, Tanya -
who had got out of bed to
come, you wagged your tail and were so happy to see
her you jumped up on the
table. As I stroked and cuddled you, we talked and
talked until I was sure
it was the right decision. Even then I had hoped
she would talk me out of
what I knew was the only decision I could make, even
though I didn't want to
do it. But she told me that we had tried everything
and that I should be
happy that your short life was one of happiness and
love - we had given you
a good life. It was hard, but I knew I couldn't just
leave you to go
throught it alone. I wanted to be with you on your
last journey. You were my
friend. I loved and still love you. As I patted, s
troked and cuddled you I
told you how much I loved you and how I hoped you
could forgive me as I
really didn't want to do it. You drifted away in my
arms, so peacful and
content. When my time comes I hope my death is as
peaceful, painless and in
the arms of someone who loves me as much as I love
you.
We had you individually cremated and I had to
wait the longest week of my
life to get your enscribed urn and ashes. We had
it left unsealed, couldn't
bare to see you sitting on a shelf - not your style
at all. We watched the
video of you and little "Jock", the first time we
took him to the beach.
Then we went down to your favourite spot on the
dog beach and we sang my
favourite hymn "All Things Bright and Beautiful".
Then I waded out into the
ocean and scattered most of your ashes into the
Indian Ocean you loved so
much. When we came home I put the rest of the ashes
into the bottom of a
hole we had dug. Actually we just deepened the one
you always dug in the
spot I could never grow anything because you always
dug it up! We planted a
Gravillea ( Masons Hybrid) which will attract
those birds you loved to chase
in our, sorry I mean YOUR, garden.
My Christmas present was a large oil painting we
commissioned of you. It is
called "King Hamish and Jock the Wonderdog", you
pair became inseperable. It
hangs in pride of place in our formal area. Your
photographs fill the house,
as always. You will be happy to know that little
"Jock" has adopted me. You
took so much of my time, I never really noticed him,
especially since he was
so quite and well behaved. The morning after you were
put to sleep I was a
mess. I had to have two days off work. "Jock" never
left me. He is my
constant shadow and companion. He has become very
special to me, and is the
cutest black Cocker Spaniel. It is ironic that
we only got him for you, and
now it is me he is helping, not you. I love "Jock" dearly, but he can
never take your place. You now join "Patch" in
that special place in my
heart that will stay there forever.
I love you "Hamish" and I miss you so
much. Please forgive me.
You were the shining light in my life, and now you shine from above. Watch
over us with love. 22.6.98 (Karen)