Tootsie

My dog's name was Tootsie "Toot Toot". My sister-in-law found her 14 years ago in the parking lot of her work and brought her home to me (Well, I was the only one she took to, so I became her owner). From then on, she would never leave my side, I would have to sit with her through the birth of her first litter so she wouldn't get up to follow me. She slept between my boyfriend and I when we moved in together. She rode in the car with her nose sticking out the half rolled down window. If anyone slapt me or even looked as if they were hitting me (hugging, patting) she would nip at them furiously. She had this disturbing habit of always shoving her head under the hand that held my freshly made cup of coffee. When our bed got too high for her to jump up on, she started to sleep right under my head under the bed. She always ran through my flower beds and layed in them after being told not to. Now I'll put a statue of a cocker spaniel there for her rememberance.

August 15, 2003 I had let her stay out all night to keep guard. She went roaming the nieghborhood at 5:30a.m., she must've heard my sister leaving for work and thought I would be awake, so she crossed the busy street to get back home. Only this time she didn't make it.

My husband found her down the street when he went to work. He told me not to look at her face, so he covered her head. He didn't have time to help me bury her, and we really didn't have a place to lay her, so I regretfully took her to the shelter where they destroyed her body. I wish so badly I could've buried her right in the flower bed she loved to lay in and get in trouble for. I can't believe after 14 years with me, that she got hit by a car. I expected her death to be from an illness, where she would fall asleep in my arms.

I had been mad at her the night before and previous days because she was constantly barking at our friends or relatives coming in the house. I'm so sorry Toot Toot for not saying "goodbye, I love you" or being there when you passed. I miss you so much. You were so much a part of my past life before boyfriends, work, and children. Now that your gone, a big piece of my past is gone too. I hope you can get passed the thought that I can no longer be right by your side at all times. I worry you'll be up there whining by the gate the whole time and not let go and be free.

I realize it's not about me (why you had to get hit), but it's about you and your life, you had someone else to go and protect. I can't imagine my life without my little bodyguard I thought I'd have forever. You were 14 years old but still acted like you were 5 years old. So energetic, and playful. You had never been sick in your life. I'm so sorry baby girl.

Until we see each other again, feel free to stop in and give me a nudge under my coffee cup! I'll be watching out for you sweetie. ReShaun and Jada Miss and Love you too. Toffee is hanging in there, she's bored now that she can't chase you around.

ILOVEYOUTOOTSIE!