Bear

in 1982, when i was living in chicago, i was led to a garbage dumpster in an alley. inside were 6 chocolate lab puppies. i was so saddened by this...then outraged. i already had 2 dogs at the time, so i knew i wasn't going to be able to take all 6 of them.

my heart was very heavy as i tried to pick out only 1 of the sweet little 8-week old pups. i chose the runt of the litter. when i picked her up she looked just like a little teddy bear-hence, the name, bear. she was so tiny. her eyes hadn't opened yet and neither had her ears. the latter i found very surprising. i took her home and prepared to make sure that this little creature of god would never again find herself in a similar situation.

i fed her with a little baby bottle then within a few days i was using a baby spoon. all the while i kept thinking about the others i couldn't take. i prayed that god would look over his little ones whom i had found homes for. bear followed me everywhere. wherever i went there was bear. we were sort of joined at the hip, so to speak. she grew into a loving companion. she slept in the bed with me all curled up in a sweet lillte ball. she was so beautiful.

later i suffered a head injury and developed a seizure disorder. bear was one of those dogs born with the ability to know when there was a seizure coming on. she used to nudge me toward the couch to lie down. she always parked herself at my feet until the siezure passed. then she stayed until i slept it off.

this went on untill she was 14 years old. by that time she'd become very arthritic and found it difficult to jump up on the bed. that's when i'd bend down and pick her up and placed her gently next to me. before too long she kept giving me a look that said, "mom, i'll stay with you as long as you want me to, but i really need to go home. i'm in such pain all the time."

this just broke my heart because i knew that she would stay. one day i told myself that i had to let her go. she had been so good to me now i had to give my dear friend her rest. i took her to the anti cruelty society in chicago and we were taken into a small room. a young man prepared to shave the front paw so that an injection could be given that would free bear from her pain. i just cried my eyes out. i lay down on the cold concrete floor next to her and she looked up into my eyes. "don't worry, mom. we'll be together again one day."

she didn't flinch when she was given the shot. my dear bear died in my arms with my tears on her beautiful chocolate brown coat. i then took her, by limosine, to a pet cemetary where she was finally laid to rest.

i cried for weeks after. i still grieve. about 6 months after i let my companion go home i was caught in a very bad home fire. i came close to dying. i had 2 cats who somehow got out but my snake perished in the fire. even tho' i missed my bear, i thanked god that she was not alive to be caught in the blaze.

i know you're there, bear and 1 day we'll be together forever. thank you dear god for entrusting this wonderful creature to my care. i know i gave her my all as she gave me her all.